Day by Day

A lot can change in a week.  As some of you may know, we have finally elected a new prioress here in Clyde.  Sr. Sean was elected on July 15th and officially installed on the 16th.  She is the elected superior in the Clyde Monastery.  You can read more about her here (scroll down she is towards the end). 

As prioress, she is responsible for the temporal and spiritual goods of the monastery.  She gives the blessings in chapel and at table.  She is the one we go to when we need permission for leaving the monastery or to purchase something.  She has an assistant, the subprioress, whom she appoints with the approval of the Prioress General.  The subprioress assists the prioress in her duties and fills in for her in her absence.

So...guess who was appointed subprioress? 

Me. 

It was a big surprise to everyone.  When Sr. Sean asked me she needed an answer fairly quickly.  I went to chapel and told the Lord - "OK if this is NOT your will you have 30 minutes to let me know!"  I was scared but I knew I couldn't say no because of fear.  I thought about it and realized that I was scared because I lacked experience and because I didn't want this to be an ego trip.  As I often do when faced with a difficult decision I turned to Scripture. 

I came to Psalm 19 and as I was reading it a calm came over me.  These are the two passages that spoke to me. 

The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy, making wise the simple. (vs 7)

Who can discern his errors? Forgive my hidden faults. Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me. (vs 12-13)

In the first, I was calmed because I knew that if I stayed in God's Word, He would give me the wisdom I needed.  I am young and inexperienced but God will provide what I need.  And the second passage, reminded me again, that if I am faithful to my lectio and pray with the Scriptures, God will not allow me to become too proud in this new position or have any hidden ego agenda. 

As I prayed with these words, peace washed over me, the peace that only comes when we are safe under the umbrella of God's authority.  So, I told Sr. Sean that I would accept her appointment.

This a big change for me and I am not quite sure yet how it will all unfold.  But, I know that God is faithful - and that is where I will put my trust.  I count on your prayers, too.

I try to keep this blog mostly about things that happen in the monastery but sometimes I have some cute family stories that I will share, too. 

I have 4 nieces and 5 nephews.  My sister's daughters are the youngest nieces - they are 4 1/2 and 3 1/2.  My sister told me this story about them.

Recently at the dinner table. Zahra (the older of the two) said "Is God in this food?"  Kavi (the younger one) then asked, "Was God in the grocery store?"  My sister said, "well God isn't a person you can see...."  And Zahra said, "I know, God is love, but you said Daddy cooked this food with love and that love was the secret ingredient.  So is God in this food?"  My sister replied "Well, I guess in a way God is in this food."  Zahra said, "Good, because then He can get into our hearts!"

My sister told me about this website called www.wordle.net

You can enter the address of your blog and it creates a graphic with the words you use most. 

You can see mine here.

I love the 4th of July.  I know that there is much wrong with the American government and I don't support many of things that have been done in our name by our elected officials.  But I love our country - I love the idealism and hope that we are founded upon and that we carry into each generation. 

I think much of my love for the USA comes from my parents.  As immigrants, they have seen firsthand what life outside the US is like.  They know the many blessings that are afforded to the citizens of this country.  They encouraged us to participate in our government and not to take the blessings of liberty for granted. 

The 4th in the monastery is a simple day.  Mass and morning and evening prayer are full of prayers of thanksgiving for God's blessings on our nation and for peace for all countries.   I am grateful as I am aware that in some places in our world - we would not be able to live this religious life as we are free to do here in the US.  We also have a picnic meal at noon and the rest of the day is leisure time.  Its is a restful day.

I think another reason I love the 4th is because its is 3 days before my birthday!  Today I turned 36!   I think birthdays are great.  I don't mind getting older (so far)!  Birthdays in the monastery are fun.  You get included in a special intercession at morning prayer, the sisters sing a blessing over you and sing "Happy Birthday" to you at the noon meal, and throughout the day individual sisters leave you notes and greetings of love and affection.  I love life and I am grateful that God has so richly blessed mine. 

Every year on my birthday, I ask God for something.  I try to think of things that I know are for sure in His Will for me.  This year my prayer is that God will bless me with a heart that desires Him alone.  May He hear my prayer!

One of the frequent questions we get from young women interested in entering our community and others wanting to know more about our life is this -  Can your family come visit?

The answer is YES!  We each get one "homevisit" per year to go visit our family but our families are always welcome to come visit us here.  My father, sister, brother-in-law, and brother were here last weekend for a short visit.  My dad flew in from in Nashville, the rest of the gang drove in from St. Louis.  It was a great time. 

My family enjoys fishing - my dad especially.  He is an excellent fisherman and has helped us control the fish population in our little pond for several years now. ;)  And with the exception of a few really small fish, we keep 'em and cook 'em!  My ethnic background is East Indian. (In fact, I am a first generation American.)  I didn't fully appreciate the Indian food we had everyday growing up but I sure miss it now.  So, when my dad and family come we always have an Indian meal of fried fish, rice, and lentils.  YUM!!!! 

This visit was even more fun since Sr. Ruth's family was visiting at the same time.  Her sister-in-law, niece and nephews were here for the weekend, too. So both families fished together.  Her nephew caught a huge bass and my family cooked it up for him. It was great.

I love having my family here as guests.  I find that I actually get to spend more time visiting and talking with them here than when I go home. There really isn't much else to do here - whereas when I am home with them there is much more activity.  I also enjoy visits from the families of other sisters.  It is so interesting to hear stories from the people that knew them before they entered and to see the family resemblances and inherited traits. 

Having guests is exhausting -but it's the good kind of tired.  I always feel a little sad to see my family leave not knowing if my Dad will be able to make the trip again (he's 86).  But mostly, I just feel deep gratitude -thankful for the gift of my family and my monastic community and grateful to have these two parts of my life intersect for a few days.  God is so good!

After all the meetings of the past two weeks and hosting our sisters from the other houses, we were all wiped out.  Sr. Pat and Sr. Cheryl had wisely scheduled a recreation day so that we could all just relax and recover from the busy schedule and the many changes that these last weeks brought.  Yesterday was our communal "flop day."

There is a beautiful lake, Lake Mozingo, about a twenty minute drive away from the convent.  (Some would be able to tell you how big it is and how the lake came to be after the '93 flood, etc - I am not the one.)  We had rented a large pavilion and about 40 of us headed out to the lake for the day.   Since we only have 4 cars and a van - it took a couple of trips to get every one there.  I was part of the first crew - we took advantage of our early arrival to put tablecloths on the picnic tables and hung a few balloons to give the place a festive atmosphere.  The rest of the gang arrived soon after and we enjoyed a variety of activities.

Several sisters brought along games such as Scrabble, Skip-Bo, and cards.  There was a path that led to the water and a floating dock - so many spent time watching the boats and seeing the sun sparkle on the water.  There was ample grass space for Norwegian horseshoes, kite flying, and wiffle ball.  There was also a lovely playground a few yards from the shelter complete with swings, a slide, and teeter-totters.  There were also wooded areas with paths for walking.  So - there was something for everyone to enjoy.  God blessed us with wonderful weather for most of the day.

At noon, a couple of sisters drove into town and picked up KFC for the gang.  This balanced nicely the chips and cookies and other picnic food we had brought with us from the convent.  After the meal - many continued to play and relax and others were ready to head home.  The sisters that were driving were taking us home by way of Dairy Queen - a sweet treat to end the day.

There were nine sisters left in the pavilion waiting for the drivers to return for the last load of us when we heard thunder.  Our sunny skies turned dark and the wind picked up.  Soon, we were huddled in the middle of the pavilion trying to stay dry from the blowing rain.  The drivers didn't arrive back before a torrential downpour began - there was even hail!   Even though they drove right up to the shelter - we all got soaked to the skin getting to the car.  Most of us decided to forego the DQ and just head straight home since we were chattering with cold. 

In spite of the rain and hail, it was for me a perfect day.  I loved spending time outside with all my sisters.  I got to visit and play games with many sisters with whom I don't spend as much time.  I got to indulge my inner child with the swings and slides.  Every where I looked my eyes were filled with the wonder and beauty of God's great creation.  It was a day when I could step out of my regularly scheduled life and get a better perspective so I can see the bigger picture.  And that is always a good thing.

"Blessed are you, O Lord, the God of our fathers, praiseworthy and exalted above all forever; And blessed is your holy and glorious name, praiseworthy and exalted above all for all ages. Bless the Lord, all you works of the Lord, praise and exalt him above all forever. Sun and moon, bless the Lord; praise and exalt him above all forever. Dew and rain, bless the Lord; praise and exalt him above all forever. Lightnings and clouds, bless the Lord; praise and exalt him above all forever. O Israel, bless the Lord; praise and exalt him above all forever. Servants of the Lord, bless the Lord; praise and exalt him above all forever. Holy ones of humble heart, bless the Lord; praise and exalt him above all forever. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his mercy endures forever."

                                                      (excerpts from Chapter 3 of the Book of Daniel)

The General Chapter is finished!  It was an exhausting and enlightening two weeks of meetings.  The Holy Spirit was with us and it was heartening to see how He moved and flowed among as we prayed and shared and made some major decisions.

You will probably soon read about this elsewhere on our website - we elected a new General Council!  Sr. Pat Nyquist was elected our Prioress General.  Her new council is made up of Sisters Ruth Elaine, Cheryl, and Dawn Annette.   Tomorrow they will be officially installed and we will promise them our obedience and our support. 

That is all the news I have for now.  Thanks for all your prayers.  They helped!  I am looking forward to a relaxing weekend!  God bless each of you with the same.

Hello Blog Friends - I know that I have been remiss about getting current blogs posted.  Mea culpa.  And actually, I wanted to let you know that I won't be able to post again for a little while.

For the next two weeks, the whole Congregation of Benedictine Sisters of Perpetual Adoration will convene here in Clyde.  We are gathering for our General Assembly which is held every six years.  We will be discussing and deciding on various topics that effect our life and we will be electing new leadership for the Congregation. 

It will be an time of intense discernment and prayer.  There will be much discussion and group sharing.  There will be some tension and stress balanced by laughter and leisure.  There will be difficult decisions to be made and hard questions to be addressed.  But we have been praying fervently for many weeks for an outpouring of the Holy Spirit and He has not failed us yet! 

So, please keep us in prayer these first two weeks of June.  I hope to have a new post up when its all finished and let you know how it all went!  Thanks!

Peace and blessings to all!

Hello Internet Friends!  I am sorry for the long blogpause.   Since my last post, there have been some exciting changes in the Altar Bread Department.   We got some new equipment that has streamlined our quality control area.  It is faster now and so we hope to be able to increase our production. 

Last Monday was the first day we had it in operation.  It was a bit of a crazy day.  The breads were flying by a lot faster that we had thought they would.  Throw into the mix two staff members who had the day off, three sisters on retreat, and we were a few people short of efficient!  Thankfully, some sisters that don't regularly work in AB came to the rescue.  The rest of the week went more smoothly though we are still on the learning curve with the equipment. 

I had been quite stressed out and tired going into the weekend.  God knew what He was doing when He planned a weekly Sabbath rest.  It is a great blessing when we take advantage of it.  This weekend was wonderful.  One of our sisters who is on retreat chose to set up a tent in our back fields.  She made her retreat space quite lovely with a tent, hammock, firepit, and camping chair.  She invited a few of us to brave the night air (and night bugs!) and enjoy her campfire Saturday evening.  It was just what I needed after a hectic week in the A.B.   We entered into her retreat space with a reflective spirit and just quietly listened to the night sounds, gazed at the nearly full moon,wondered at the stars and gave thanks to God for His marvelous creation.  It was perfect!  It may turn me into an outdoorsy girl after all... well, maybe not ... but I enjoyed the evening.

Sunday we celebrated the Solemnity of the Most Holy Trinity.  I hosted a few friends who had come for the afternoon.  I showed them around the chapel and heritage room and then we walked around outside, enjoyed the lovely spring weather and had a chance to visit and catch up.  It was a time of holy leisure.

So, after having some time to rest and renew over the weekend, I am ready to face the work week again.  "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

This weekend I had the great priviledge of meeting one of my heroes in the faith, Christopher West.  

Christopher West is a well known teacher of the Theology of the Body.  What is the Theology of the Body you might ask... well, let me tell you!

John Paul II, from the beginning of his papacy, gave weekly general audiences.  The first 129 sermons given in his papacy were dedicated to teaching this Theology of the Body. It is the Catholic Church's answer to the sexual revolution and the culture of death that it has propagated.  These teachings show what Scripture and the Catholic Church truly teach about the human body and sexuality. 

I was first exposed to these teachings about four years ago.  I remember reading one of Christopher West's books and thinking - I have been Catholic for 33 years - why have I never heard of this before?!.  It was revolutionary to me.  I then read everything else Christopher West had written about it.

The basic message of the Theology of the Body is this - God created us for union with Him.  This fact is stamped onto our very bodies by us being created male and female.  In the beginning Adam and Eve recognized this fact and they were naked without shame.  But the snare of Satan has warped our view of the human body and we have distorted that original image.  Christ came to redeem us and restore our original dignity as humans.

Meeting Christopher West, reignited the fire I felt when I first heard about this teaching.  I plan to begin again my study of it.  As I go back and re-read the Theology of the Body I hope to post here bits and pieces of what I am learning so that I can spread the Good News. 

Two of our oblates have decided to return to the Catholic church after 20 years in another denomination.

Our community is trying to determine what is the best way to renovate our monastery.

One of our sisters is discerning whether God is calling her to another path ... one that leads away from our Congregation.

Decisions ... we are faced with countless decisions everyday.  Thankfully, in monastic life I don't have to spend much energy on the more trivial decisions in life.  For example, I don't have to decide what to wear, when to eat, what my schedule will be for the day.  To a great extent, these decisions have been made for me and  I am grateful.

But, of course, there are more weighty matters that need to be decided - what is the best way to allocate our funds, what do we do with a building that is too big for our needs, how can a certain space be most efficiently utilized, how can a sister's particular gifts and talents be best used for the service of God and the community?  How does one proceed when difficult decisions need to be made? 

One of the things I most appreciate about this communal life is the sharing of our strengths.  We have sisters with the accounting background to help us make financial decisions, there are sisters with the organizational skills to plan for renovations,  there sisters with the ability to think outside the box and help us all see a new perspective and each of these sisters is asked to share her wisdom and input with all of us as we make serious decisions.  St. Benedict encourages this in his Rule.  There is a whole chapter dedicated to summoning the brethren for counsel when serious matters need to be decided. It states that all should be heard and that what is best is sometimes revealed to the younger.

However, there is a "however" clause in that chapter.  Ultimately, in the Rule, the decision rests on the Abbot (or in our case the Prioress or Prioress General) and once the decision is final we are all to humbly obey.  I'm okay with that ...unless I don't like the decision!  

In general, I don't have a problem with authority.  I am not constantly rebellious.  I like rules and I am rule follower by choice not force.  But I am, also, a rational and logical person.  If I can understand the rationale and logic behind a decision, I can go along with it even when I disagree but sometimes some decisions aren't rational or logical... and then... well, its a lot harder to humbly obey.

For me, what is comes down to is the Will of God.  I know that God has a plan for our lives and cares about the decisions we make.  I have to trust that those making the final decisions have prayed and discerned as to what is God's Will for us at this time.  I believe that God will work all things for good for those who trust Him.  So, I know that whether a decision made in community is right or wrong, logical or illogical, whether those making the decision are trustworthy or not, rational or irrational.... I know that the decision is under the authority of His permissive will and HE is worthy of trust.  I have placed my hope in him - and that is a decision with which I can gladly live.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23

I am sorry for the long absence in blog-world!  It has been a hectic two weeks since Easter! 

The OLR building has been undergoing some restoration work since the fire.  The first step was to dry out the carpets and walls that were damaged by the water.  A restoration company came and hooked up some big tubes to the building to lower the humidity and increase the temperature.  The insurance company and fire inspector have come.  We still do not know as yet what the cause of the fire was.  Seven trusses in the roof where burned badly and need to be replaced.  We have had to call in some engineers to see if they can be repaired or if we have to remove the roof and have new trusses shipped and put in place.  It will be at least two months till the building will be usable.

The elder sisters are slowly adjusting to the transition up to the house. It has been hard for them and for the health care staff.  The rooms they are using are not set up very well for patient care and so it takes more effort to get done what needs to be done.  But everyone is doing the best they can and trying to be patient when things don't go well.  Grace abounds.

Today was the celebration of the Golden (50th) Jubilee of two of our sisters and the Silver (25th) Jubilee of another.  It was a welcome opportunity to rejoice and celebrate after the events of the last weeks. Our golden jubilarians, Sisters Jean Frances and Lioba, grew up in Chicago and entered soon after they gradutated from high school.  Sister Jane, who celebrated 25 years of monastic profession, grew up in Kansas City and entered the convent a few years after she finished college.  These three have served in many capacities in the congregation from prioress to portress, from cooking to correspondence, formation and finance, altar bread work and liturgy, etc.  Above all they have shared in our ministry of prayer and adoration and we have all been blessed by their gift of self.

Their jubilee celebration today was simple and joyful.  It is a time of thanksgiving for many things. 

- For God's faithfulness that has sustained our vocations through the years

- For our life of prayer lived together in community

- For our families who have nurtured and supported us

- For the many gifts and blessings that our jubilarians have given the community by sharing in this life with us

I pray that by the quiet and holy witness of these women of faith will engender in all of us a greater desire for God.  May that spark that has been tended within them these many years be fanned into flame and may the fire of God's love spread to the ends of the earth.

*Christ is risen!  Truly He is Risen!

We had an unbelievable Easter...

Well, it started normal enough for us with the Easter Vigil at 4AM - that ended at 6:45 or so.  We had a few guests this weekend for the vigil, Alanna (a former sister in the community), Roger and Mackenzie (a young couple) and Ann (an oblate of the community).  They had stayed overnight in the guesthouses and were preparing to head home Sunday morning when they noticed smoke coming from the roof of our health care building (OLR) and heard the fire alarms going off in the building.  The staff had started to evacuate the building and Roger rushed in and started getting the sisters out of the building.  Alanna, Mackenzie, and Ann went to the guest houses and got blankets and things to wrap the sisters in who were standing in the cold.  Alanna called the main house and told them what was going on. Then our guests proceded to help get our sisters up to the main house.  

Most of the sisters in the main monastery had not heard the news and were getting ready for morning prayer in the chapel. During morning prayer it was announced that there was a fire and that the elder sisters were being evacuated and moved up to the main monastery.  Immediately after prayer, we all tried to help as best we could. Thankfully no one was hurt - all the elder sisters and staff were safe.  Other sisters and staff helped to make the wing they are staying in a somewhat functional health care area.  We made a small chapel for them and arranged a room to use as a dining room.  The sisters were put in unused bedrooms and other areas. Thankfully, there is a small kitchen in that wing - numerous trips between buildings were made to bring up supplies.   

From what we can tell at the moment, it was a mechanical fire due to overheating in some equipment in the attic.   Most of the damage was in the attic. We were probably only a few minutes away from the roof buring off and probably collapsing.  The firemen said that our sprinkler system saved the OLR building.  The problem is we have a HUGE amount of smoke and water damage.  There was water several inches deep on the floor. Since the sprinklers were in the attic, the water dripped through the ceiling and pieces of the ceiling are missing in parts of the building.  It is awful.  Thankfully, the sprinklers didn't go off in all the wings.  The central wing sustained the most damage and unfortunately that is where the kitchen and nursing station are.  Due to the extent of the damage - they are assuming it will be at least two months before they can move back into the building.  Most of us spent the day helping get supplies to the sisters and staff -it was an unusual Easter for sure.  But the best part of it all was our guests, employees, neighbors, and friends....
 
Many of our employees and local neighbors serve as First Responders and volunteer firefighters and also are members of the local parish.  The Fire Chief was wearing his pager at Easter Mass that morning when it went off.  As soon as he left several other volunteers saw him go and followed him out.  The word got out that the sisters needed help and our dear neighbors sprang into action.  Our workmen and their families helped bring out the beds from OLR.  They helped move furniture and set up rooms.  Many of the staff from OLR came to help whether they were on duty or not and they stayed from early morning til 9pm.  One of our regular cooks came over to see what she could do and helped prepare our Easter dinner since so many sisters were doing other things.  One of the wives of our workmen heard that the elder sisters were wanting some of their prayer things so she went and got each sisters' rosary and put them in bags and brought them to the sisters.  Many other friends helped begin to clean up some of the damaged areas.  Another friend who works for Red Cross brought a bunch of disposal supplies and was willing to assist in any way possible. 

Beginning with our heroic guests and  ending with generous neighbors, we have been humbled by the kindness we received and know we have been incredibly blest.  The Easter Vigil rites of the fire and water have been a vivid reality for us this Easter.  Our celebration of Easter day was very different than we had planned.  We have seen with our own eyes the Resurrection - where death and destruction does not have the last word and the living Spirit of God rises up in God's people.  So is there life after death? ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS

Hello Blog Friends,

This is a long post but not an entirely new one.  I wrote this reflection for my community for Palm Sunday two years ago.  I thought it would be timely as we prepare for Holy Week this year.  May you each be blessed during these sacred days.

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     On my bedroom wall, I have a collection of 30 or so crosses & crucifixes.  There are a variety of styles, several small ones and a few large ones, an assortment of colors including a red one, most are simple and some are more ornate.  Each is different– all are beautiful.  But in reality, the Cross of Christ is not pretty. We see in it a detailed image of human suffering. It is no wonder that our culture and society have shied away from the sign of the Cross.  It is painful to look upon such a stark and vivid depiction of our human condition. 
     Yet, it is this “unattractive” Cross that for over two millennia has been the enduring sign and symbol of our faith.  John Paul II wrote that it is primarily through the Cross that Jesus continues to identify with us.  None of us will ever be able to be as Jesus was –that is - so completely one with God that all we do and say is in accord with God’s will.  It is a challenge to say the least.  But suffering is part of the human experience and the image of the suffering Christ is one we can easily recognize in ourselves.  Who of us has not felt betrayed, rejected, ridiculed or has not done those same things to another?   Which one of us has not wept over the sufferings of our loved ones as they endure hardships and pain?  How many of us pray for an end to the cruelty that we see human beings enacting upon one another over and over again in our world?  We have all experienced suffering.  The Cross is still a relevant sign.  What’s more it is a sign of victory.  Jesus endured in His very human nature all the indignities to which we ourselves are subject and He overcame them. When He died on the cross He gave over His Spirit that we, too, might have the capacity to be truly free.  When we look upon the crucifixion we should see a sign not of defeat but triumph, a sign not of death but life, a sign not of dishonor but glory.  Pope John Paul believed that the cry of the new evangelization should be this “Do not empty the Cross of its power!”  
    What is the power of the Cross? What is the power that comes from Jesus’ passion and death?

The power of the Cross is love – the love that suffers for the sake of others, love that accepts rejection and keeps on loving, love that gives everything.

It is joy - the joy that comes from doing God’s will, the joy that is found when our sufferings are joined with His, the joy that comes from knowing that heaven awaits.

It is peace – the peace that passes understanding, the inner peace that no storm can shake, the peace that the world cannot give.

The power of the Cross is patience – the patience that endures pain, the patience that bears humiliations and contempt, the patience that waits for Resurrection.

It is kindness –the kindness that forgives one’s enemies, the kindness that helps others carry their cross, the kindness that hopes for the good in others saying “they know not what they do”.

It is goodness – the goodness of a soul living in unity with grace, the goodness that gives even as all is being taken away, the goodness that ends violence by not retaliating.

The power of the cross is faithfulness –faithfulness to the way that has been set before us, the faithfulness of being steadfast to the end though we fall again and again, the faithfulness that trusts in the promise that we will rise again.

It is gentleness – the gentleness that goes like a lamb to the slaughter, the gentleness that responds to mockery and ridicule with silence, the gentleness that is humility.

It is self-control –the self-control to deny ourselves for the sake of others, the self-control to master our greatest enemy – ourselves; the self-control that shows a world that is out of control that we can have freedom from our sinfulness.

     On the Cross, Jesus, in whom the Spirit dwelt fully, became for us the tree-ripened fruit of the Spirit.  The gift of the Cross, the ultimate power of the cross is fullness of life in the Spirit.
So I say again  “Do not empty the Cross of its power!”
As we journey again through these days of Holy Week – let us seek the Fruit of the Tree of Life, let us fix our eyes upon Jesus and see anew.  The Cross of Christ is not pretty but it is redemption, it is salvation, it is our hope of glory.
 
I would like to close with a poem by the Carmelite nun, Jessica Powers, known in religious life as Sr. Miriam of the Holy Spirit. 
The Sign of the Cross
The lovers of Christ lift out their hands to the great gift of suffering.
For how could they seek to be warmed and clothed and delicately fed,
to wallow in praise and drink deep drafts of an undeserved affection,
have castles for home and a silken couch for bed,
when He the worthy went forth, wounded and hated,
and grudged of even a place to lay His head
This is the badge of the friends of the Man of Sorrows:
the mark of the cross, faint replica of His,
become ubiquitous now; it spreads like a wild blossom
on the mountains of time and in each of the crevices.
Oh seek that land where it grows in rich abundance
with its thorny stem and its scent like bitter wine,
for wherever Christ walks He casts its seed and He scatters its purple petals.
It is the flower of His marked elect and the fruit it bears is divine.
Choose it, my heart, it is a beautiful sign.

On Tuesday we heard the Gospel reading of the man who had been ill for 38 years (John 5:1-16).   Jesus asks him, "Do you want to be healed?"  While the man makes excuses for why he has not yet been healed, Jesus says, "Rise, pick up your mat, and walk."   

Do we really want to be healed?  I physically want to feel great but am I will to take the steps that lead to good health (eating right, exercising, and getting enough rest)?  I yearn for emotional peace but am I willing to forgive, let go of grudges, and forget resentments?  I desire spiritual growth but do I strive for unceasing prayer and diligent study of God's Word? 

As much I as I would like to I can't give a resounding YES to any of these questions.  In some ways, I guess I have gotten too familiar with this mat I am sitting on.  It may not be the most comfortable place but its what I know.

This Lent, Jesus calls me and all of us to "Rise, pick up our mats, and walk." 

Rise - with the grace of God, I hope to change some of the habits that have kept me from health and wholeness.

Pick up my mat - I cannot return to that place of sickness, I cannot leave my mat on the ground hoping to come back to it later.

Walk - I must go forth and be a sign of hope to others who are still waiting to answer the question "Do you want to be healed?".